"Dear Clients, Here's What Your Therapist Wants You to Know"

Author: Lauren Callahan, LCSW

An open letter to my clients:

The therapeutic relationship is weird, isn’t it? Every week we meet consistently. I see you more frequently than I do many of my closest friends, and I embrace the most vulnerable parts of you that keep you safely protected from the world. There is an undeniable closeness to our relationship, yet it is unique in the imbalance of disclosure that we maintain in order to preserve my role as The Stoic and All-Knowing Problem Fixer.

Naturally, curiosity may have you wondering what goes on in my mind. I know I’ve considered this with my own therapist (your grandtherapist, if you will). What is she really thinking? Is she supposed to say that? How much does she really care? I write this letter to you to share that I care about you. A lot, actually. And, while this is my job, I consider myself the luckiest to have your permission to walk alongside you during some of your most difficult times. I write this letter to share a few things I want you to know and clear up some common misconceptions:

1. I am proud of you. I know all you have been through and what you are working to achieve. I know the road isn’t easy, and there are many bumps and roadblocks along the way. It isn’t easy to show up week after week, and I bet you consider cancelling appointments every now and then. But I am glad you show up. You deserve the care you give yourself.

2. I am not The Stoic and All-Knowing Problem Fixer. I know this may come as a shock. I am simply an imperfect human just like you. I’m always learning. I make mistakes. While I often don’t know how to make the road to healing shorter or smoother, I will say I am a pretty good road trip buddy. I’ll remind you to fill your gas tank, stop to enjoy the detours, pack the snacks, and listen to the best playlists. I’ll handle the map, and we can find the best route together. And don’t forget -- the best parts of a road trip often happen before we even arrive at the destination.

3. It’s unfair. I know you didn’t choose to be in the situation that you’re in, and you certainly don’t deserve it. I know you are healing because the people around you aren’t. I recognize there are greater problems in this world that the two of us can’t solve on our own. Your refusal to accept these circumstances gives me hope for future generations. I believe your steps toward healing today will lead to greater collective change for generations to come.

4. You inspire me. I know I am the professional here, and I’m expected to provide the words of wisdom, but every day I am encouraged by you. Your resilience, your determination, and the way you think about the world give me strength and motivation to pursue my own personal growth and be the best therapist I can be. I am incredibly thankful for your vulnerability in sharing your story.

I want to remind you that you are not alone on this journey. When you feel overwhelmed and uncertain, know that I am here to sit alongside you. Together we will ensure that you feel supported and heard. I do not take your trust and commitment for granted. It’s what makes my job so rewarding. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your journey.

Sincerely,

Lauren

- Lauren Callahan, LSW

Licensed Social Worker

Frequently Asked Questions About Therapy and the Therapeutic Relationship

Do therapists actually care about their clients?

Yes! While therapy is a professional relationship with clear boundaries, therapists often care deeply about the people they work with. At Beyond Therapy & Nutrition Center, we believe meaningful therapeutic connection is an important part of healing, whether someone is seeking support for eating disorders, body image concerns, anxiety, maternal mental health, or other emotional challenges.

Do therapists judge their clients?

A healthy therapeutic relationship should be grounded in compassion, curiosity, and understanding, not judgment. Many people worry they will be “too much,” “too messy,” or somehow judged in therapy. Our therapists strive to create supportive, weight-inclusive, nonjudgmental spaces where people can show up honestly.

Is it normal to wonder what my therapist thinks about me?

Absolutely. Therapy is a unique relationship, and it’s common to wonder what your therapist thinks, feels, or notices. Curiosity about the therapeutic relationship is a normal part of the process and can even be something worth discussing in therapy itself.

What if I want to cancel therapy or avoid appointments?

This is more common than many people realize. Therapy can bring up vulnerability, discomfort, or difficult emotions, which can create the urge to avoid sessions. Talking openly about those feelings can actually be an important part of the work, and a supportive therapist will help you navigate that with curiosity rather than shame.

How do I know if therapy is helping?

Progress in therapy does not always mean feeling better immediately. Sometimes progress looks like stronger boundaries, healthier coping skills, greater emotional awareness, reduced shame, improved relationships, or simply feeling less alone in difficult experiences. At Beyond, we often remind clients that healing rarely looks linear.

Can I talk to my therapist about the therapy relationship itself?

Yes! Therapists love to talk about the therapy relationship. Questions about trust, boundaries, uncertainty, connection, or what therapy feels like are all appropriate things to discuss in session. The therapeutic relationship itself can be an important part of healing. Some therapists may say it is one of the most important parts of the process!

What kinds of therapy does Beyond Therapy & Nutrition Center offer?

Beyond Therapy & Nutrition Center offers HAES-aligned therapy for eating disorders, body image concerns, anxiety, maternal mental health, perinatal challenges, ARFID, and related emotional concerns. We provide in-person therapy in Newtown, PA and virtual therapy in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Delaware, and Florida.

Curious about therapy or looking for support?

Beyond Therapy & Nutrition Center offers HAES-aligned therapy for eating disorders, body image concerns, anxiety, maternal mental health, and related emotional challenges in Newtown, PA, with virtual therapy available in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Delaware, and Florida.

If you’ve been considering therapy, we’d love to help you learn more here!

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