Raising an Intuitive Eater: Why It Looks Like Cookies, Crackers, and Fruit

I recently read a post that said:

“I have always been a huge advocate for Intuitive Eating until I had kids. I tried it with them and it was literally crackers, fruit, and cookies all day.”

I get it. Seeing your toddler graze on cookies and crackers all day can feel alarming. As parents, we want our kids to thrive, and we often are taught by society to measure that by how many vegetables or “healthy foods” they eat. But before we toss Intuitive Eating out the window, let’s pause.

Because the truth is: kids eating mostly crackers and cookies is not a sign that Intuitive Eating doesn’t work, it’s a sign that it does.

Why Toddlers Eat This Way

To understand why your child gravitates toward crackers, fruit, and cookies, it helps to look at the basics of toddler physiology.

• Tiny stomachs, big needs. A toddler’s stomach is about the size of their fist. They can’t eat large meals like adults, so they naturally prefer small, frequent, easy-to-digest foods.

• Energy density matters. Cookies and crackers are calorie-dense and palatable, which means they help kids meet their high energy needs quickly. This isn’t a “broken feedback loop.” It’s biology.

• Toddlers protein need are low. They aren't craving protein because they don’t need that much. Think small.. like a 3 ounce chicken breast is enough for the whole day.

• Taste and texture. Foods that are crunchy, sweet, or soft are easier and more appealing for little bodies than fibrous veggies or chewy proteins. That doesn’t mean they’ll only ever want those foods—it means they’re learning what works for them.

When we step back and see the bigger picture, this isn’t evidence that Intuitive Eating “fails” kids. It’s actually proof that their bodies are functioning exactly as designed.

Is Their “Feedback Loop Off Kilter”?

In adults, it’s common for hunger and fullness cues to feel out of sync, after years of dieting, ignoring hunger, or labeling foods “good” and “bad.” But children? They come equipped with some of the strongest hunger/fullness cues around.

If your toddler is constantly asking for snack foods, it doesn’t mean their system is broken. It often means:

• They’re growing rapidly and need more frequent energy.

• They’re drawn to foods that are easy to eat and digest.

• Those are the foods they’ve learned are reliably available or non-stressful at mealtimes.

Labeling this as “off kilter” risks pathologizing completely normal development.

What Happens When We Restrict

The fear many parents have is: If I let them, they’ll eat cookies and McDonald’s forever.

But decades of research—and countless real-world families show that restricting foods makes kids want them more. When cookies are rare or highly controlled, they become shiny objects.

When McDonald’s is labeled “bad,” the craving intensifies.

On the flip side, when all foods are allowed in a neutral way, kids stop obsessing. Yes, they might go through a cookie phase. But they’ll also surprise you by diving into broccoli, chicken, or applesauce when their body asks for it.

The “reset” their body needs isn’t a detox or stricter food rules…it’s a reset in trust.

Your Role: Structure, Not Control

Ellyn Satter’s Division of Responsibility in Feeding lays out a framework that’s as relevant as ever:

• Parents decide: what, when, and where food is offered.

• Children decide: whether and how much they eat.

That means you don’t hand over a free-for-all pantry, but you also don’t micromanage bites of broccoli. You offer meals and snacks at predictable times. You include foods like cookies, chips, cake alongside everyday staples. And you let your child’s appetite and curiosity guide them.

This is how intuitive eating develops—not by enforcing “whole foods only,” but by modeling trust, flexibility, and variety.

What It Looks Like in Real Life

• The cookie plate. You serve lunch with a sandwich, apple slices, carrot sticks, and a cookie. Your child eats the cookie first (shocking, I know), then nibbles on the bread. You don’t panic or bargain for “one bite of carrots.” Next meal, you do it again. Over time, the cookie loses its forbidden magic.

• The carb-heavy meal. Dinner is chicken, rice, and broccoli. Your child eats just the rice. You remind yourself: rice is energy their body wanted today. Tomorrow, it might be different. Balance happens over time.

• The skipped meal. Your toddler declares they’re done after two bites. You resist bribery or pressure. Later, at snack time, you offer food again. Trust is maintained, and they learn their body’s cues matter.

These small moments build not just nutrition, but autonomy, confidence, and a healthy relationship with food.

Why This Matters Long-Term

Raising an intuitive eater isn’t about crafting the “perfectly balanced” plate at every meal. It’s about raising a child who:

• Trusts their hunger and fullness cues.

• Sees food as neutral and not a battleground.

• Doesn’t have to “unlearn” diet culture rules in adulthood.

Contrast that with the child raised on food restriction and “resets.” Those kids are more likely to sneak food, binge when given the chance, or grow into adults struggling with dieting and disordered eating.

Which path do we want for our children?

The Bottom Line

So, does Intuitive Eating “not work” for kids because they eat crackers and cookies all day? Or is that exactly what their developmental stage calls for?

When we zoom out, we see:

• Toddlers have small stomachs and big energy needs.

• Palatable foods help them meet those needs.

• Short-lived obsessions with certain foods are developmentally normal.

• Restriction and control, not cookies, are what truly derail kids’ relationship with food.

Raising an intuitive eater isn’t about eliminating cravings. It’s about teaching trust, providing structure, and letting kids’ bodies do the job they’re designed to do. So if your toddler’s plate looks like a pile of crackers and a cookie? Take a breath. That’s not failure—it’s physiology. And trust me: their body knows exactly what it’s doing.

And maybe you get to the bottom of this article and think: “Okay, Dana, I’ve tried all of this and my kid still barely eats… or only touches five foods.”

First of all, you’re not alone. Feeding kids can feel overwhelming, especially when their eating doesn’t look anything like what you imagined it would. That’s where extra support can make a big difference.

Before I became a parent myself, I taught families the “how” of raising intuitive eaters and I believed in it fully. But once I had my own child, I finally understood on a deeper level the anxiety that comes with feeding. What’s important to know is this: becoming a parent didn’t change my approach as a provider, but it did give me a whole new compassion for just how hard it can feel in real life.

At Beyond, our dietitians can sit down with you to:

• Take a closer look at what might be getting in the way of your child listening to their body

• Help you feel less anxious about what’s on their plate

• Give you the confidence to stay the course without falling into diet culture traps

Because raising an intuitive eater isn’t about perfection, it’s about creating a safe, supportive space for your child to grow into a trusting relationship with food. And you don’t have to do that alone.